Friday, May 19, 2017

I Wanna Be A Bad Mom

I'm over it. I'm tired of doing everything for everybody but me and not feeling appreciated. I'm done with the constant chores that never seem to end. And do we really need to eat dinner every night? Cooking is not my strong suit as it is, and I'm running out of creativity.

And don't get me started on the laundry. The kids' clothes, the towels, the sheets, and then finally my clothes when there's time. Thank God my husband does his own laundry.

Then there's grocery shopping. Yes, my husband does help me with the shopping now. But I still have to make the list of everything we need; otherwise, I'm to blame if we don't have it later.

Let's add cleaning the house to the list. Who has time for that? Especially when I work full time. I'm lucky if 2 of the 4 bathrooms are clean at any given moment. And I cannot vacuum when my son is home because he runs away screaming and holding his ears. So the carpet gets covered in a layer of cat hair and crumbs until my OCD finally takes over. Then, I finally decide that vacuuming is more important than avoiding the toddler tantrum.

But wait. There's more. I have to do the finances and sort through the mail. Otherwise, it just piles up on the kitchen table until the cat skates across the papers and they scatter to the floor. My inbox slowly fills with bills that I cannot pay until the first paycheck of the month because we have 2 kids in childcare.

And I am expected to do all of these things while also taking care of the kids. Making bottles, packing lunch, sleep training, playing cars, arranging play dates, coloring with markers (no, he wants crayons today), and making a construction site out of playdough. Teaching my daughter to sit up on her own and crawl. Participating in speech therapy and occupational therapy with my son. Taking the kids to their well visits at the pediatrician. As much as I love it, it is exhausting at times.

To quote the movie Bad Moms, "In this day and age, it's impossible to be a good mom." I am expected to be a full-time mom, housewife, and nurse. There are not enough hours in the day.

I am sure I am coming off as ungrateful. I am aware of all of the blessings in my life. And I am very grateful for all of them. But sometimes...I just need a break!